Teams that I've basically decided don't really exist

• Oakland Raiders
• Cleveland Browns
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• Cincinnati Bengals
• Kansas City Chiefs
• Washington Redskins
• The wherever they're from Panthers

Teams I wish never existed:

• New England Patriots... the team of my nemesis.

An open letter to my bench players.

Dear bench players,

I put you on the bench because I figured you were going to suck. Alternately I put the players in the game in play because I thought they would do well. Please don't fuck this up for me. I feel like there's something magical about the bench that instills in you great power and prowess, and that even if you had a major spinal injury and I put you on the bench you would score seventy touch downs.

Please, for the sake of my ego, suck when I put you on the bench.

Sincerely,

Dru

Whats the deal with defense?

Right?

There are entire defensive coaches, which makes sense sure... but D and Special Teams is only a minor part of my fantasy team. If they have an entire defensive coach they should have one quarterback coach, two running back coaches, three wide receiver coaches, one coach to be either wide receiver or running back, one tight end coach and I wouldn't really care if you have a kicking coach or not.

Nobody cares about the kicker.

Randy Moss is my nemesis

After his showing against the Titans yesterday the only logical conclusion I can muster is that Randy Moss has a flaming, personal vendetta against me.

Let's look at the facts:

• The Patriots could have just stopped after three touchdowns and still wiped the floor with the entire state of Tennessee, they didn't need to score more touchdowns than team members. With that in mind Tom Brady could have really spread out the wealth a little more.
• Sometimes I'm pretty sure I saw Randy Moss look into the camera and make eyes at me... threatening eyes... like piercing eyes saying "I don't care if you have Drew Brees, I'm gonna take you the fuck down."
• I had a dream where he personally threatened me.

Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that he wanted to embarrass me... I can't think of any other reason he would do so well, because I'm pretty damn embarrassed right now.

Also, I once wrote him a letter asking for a check. He refused. He said he wouldn't even give me "straight cash homey" and I don't know what that means... I can only assume it was a threat.

I will defeat him.